girls i did so bad today.  It made me really depressed actually.  And for some reason, when i read your comments that say i look so skinny in the picture, makes me get even more depressed, cause i do look so skinny in that picture, but i don't think i loook like that in real life.  I have no fucking clue.  No one has ever told me i was fat, but for some reason i feel like a fucking baloon and i just wanna be super skinny, i want my fat to jsut fall off, but it's not.  And my discipline is so bad when i smoke, but the brightside to that is when i don't smoke, i have no appetite for food, and all i wanan do is work out, so i just have to develop dexcipline for when i smoke.  BAH!  today was such a bad day, i'm not even gonna write it down.  please help me girls, please please please.

               :(.... kimmy

Well today i took the ACT's in school.  I was scared shitless for the reading and science part, but i got through with it.  Then juniors had a long lunch, so my two friends and I walked over to my friends house.  We smoked a few bowls and then went back to school.  It was already 11:50, I came late to my first period class though (juniors came in normal time, 7:40, and took the act's and everyone else came in at 11:50 and we started with first period and only had periods 1-3).  I walked in comletley fuked up, and then we watched some movies, i was tweeking out so bad.  Anyways, so sicne i smoked i ate way way too much.  Which saddens me, but i never got full, and i worked out so yea.  Today's intake (ew ew ew, sorry about a failed day... i really am)

food: cheerios, bag of gardettos, choc chip cookies, gushers, juice, and some frosted mini wheats.  And lots and lots of water.

 AHH!  Then i went for a 2-3 mile run, i don't really know, and did some ab work.  I really wanna get down some pounds and be skinny so i can WANT to wear lil summer clothes that show your tummy.  Right now i just wanan hide behind my jeans and zip up sweatshirts!

  points for today is like 5?  And, haven't cut myself for about two weeks :).

            <33 kimmy

I've been doing really good lately :).  I haven't smoked since sunday... number one.  And i worked out hardcore, today and sunday (yesterday i had a softball game).  It seems as though my outlook on this completly just turned around.  Before I was like, I NEED to get skinny, but not it's a WANT to get skinny, and we all know that when we want something, you try your hardest to get it.  I've also been doing well in school lately, cept math.  I went in for help this morning, but then when test time came, i still didn't understand it... god damn it fuck shit!  eh whatever... well here's today... kinda.

Breakfast~ nothing

Lunch~ few spoonfuls of white rice

Snack~ nutter butter.... (ooops)

Dinner~ chicken chopped salad

       about 4 bottles of water today.

Excercise...

         30 minutes of eliptical, 460 calories.

          multiple sit ups and arm excercises with free weight, while watching mean girls.

     keep the comments coming, and the ideas.  thank you so much girls, so so so much.

Today... has been.... AWESOME!

Wanna know why?  Cause im achieving everything i need to get done... and then the things i want later tonight!  Here it goes.  I started up my diet again today, but like hardcore, and it's been going great!  I cleaned my room, all of it, so my moms happy with me.  I came home on time last night, and answered my mom's phone calls, so she was proud of me for that.  I got ALL my homework done!  I watched Spanglish, that's due today.  I went to church this morning, and resisted all the bruncin food.  I went to McDonalds with some church friends, and i didn't even touch a single frie, or any food for that matter.  I ran on the eliptical today!  And I'm about to go and do my ab routine.  I got so depressed friday night, when i see all these lil skinny girls walk in, and i was just like hell no.  I want one of those cute lil body that looks so so so hot in jeans, nice expensive skinny jeans.  I'm so excited now, I had the mood, the ambition, the desire, the want, everything to get this goal achieved!  Hope all you girls are doing great.  My goal is to be 100% content with my body by the the last day of school, June 3.

Breakfast~ half cup of coffee, a few almonds

Lunch~ a piece of wheat bread, and some holy (church/blessed... whatever you wanna call it) bread.

Snack~ nothing

Dinner~nothing

Excercise.....

30 minutes on eliptical... 446 calories.   and ab routine.

points... (im just startting this mk thin challange keep track of points thing)

2 for excercising and 9 for food.

11 points!

ps... please help me with secret lil weight loss tips, i love em... and acutally pursue em

I was doing sooo sooo good!..... Then yesterday came.  Damn fuck.  I don't think i have ever eaten so much, in my, entire life.  The thing abut that is, I really don't think i have, at least in one day.  I went to school, went to first period, the ngot a pass to go to the nurse, after atendance of course.  My friend Brad met me in the hallway and we went behind the softball dugouts of our school, haha, and smoked 2 bowls.  I was fucked up. i donno bout brad.  I ate some food, then lunch came around.  Didn't eat during lunch, then got a text from Brad.  He wanted to go again, 10th, this time amanda was coming with us.  Brad and I ditched the whole period and walked to his house and got his car.  We got to his house and wrote amanda a note to get her out of class, then we had brad deliver it.  the note said "Amanda (last name) please report to the deans office at 2:15 pm on April 22, 2005 for college planning."  It worked perfectly... brad got her out of class and they met me outside and hopped in the car.  We drove around, smoked two bowls, then brad dropped amanda and i off at softball.  We had softball, amanda and i were btoh fucked up.  After softball we went to portillos and ate chicken choped salad, then i got dropped off.  I was so burnt out so i took a nap.  I slept till about 7:30, then brad called me and said they we're picking me up, a whole bunch of boys, but i hadn't even showered yet, so i told them igimme 15 minutes. 15 mins later, just him and my ex Chris came and picked me up.  I smoked a bowl with chris.  Then i don't even remmeber what happened.  Oh i got my car, and then dropped brad's car off.  Then we hopped random parties, picked up amanda and renny, then went to a dif party the rest of the night.  It was sweet.  I ate so fucking much though, im so pissed right now.  I smoked again at the last party too... oops.  I think i smoked too much.  I haven't cut myself in about a week, which is good.  I've resiisted i few temptations. :)

              <33 kimmy

 ~*thanks for all your support girls, it's really helping :)*~